Pookability, and Other Neologistic Shenanigans

Weird Words Worth Inventing

Pookability – (n.) the probability that at any given moment in time or point in space, you will see a rabbit. Example: Des Moines, Iowa has a relatively high rabbit population, and therefore maintains high pookability.

While I cannot take full credit for the conception of the word (a friend formulated the lexical variation) pookability is perhaps the epitomal pride of my neologistic endeavors. Derived from the legend of Pooka, a mythical Celtic trickster that often assumed the form of a rabbit, the word was intended as an environmental equalizer, a “controlled variable” in laboratory vernacular; it connects the beholder to their surroundings in a unique way by forcing them to contemplate the relative rabbitfulness of a location, and alternatively connecting each location to every other in comparative unison.

For example, personal analysis of my vicinity revealed that Des Moines generally has a higher pookability than Colorado Springs. Further deconstruction forces one to conclude that certain areas in Des Moines, such as Drake University, are more pookable than others, and by extension could be considered less pookable than say, Mountain Shadows, an abundant warren of a community in my Coloradan hometown.

Pondering the distinguishing factors of an environment is certainly important. Yet what I find most important in neology is not the word as a product, but rather as a creative exercise, one that gradually develops my own ability to communicate, and defines the extent of the current English language as a hindrance of that communication. As I stated in a prior article on Hereby the Maverick, Side Affects of a Logolepsy Infliction, logistical expression cannot be confined to the Oxford English Dictionary, or the purpose of expression will be climactically defeated.

I am absolutely certain that our own William Shakespeare found himself under similar if not identical circumstances, hence the existence of a word such as exsufflicate. Until true telepathy is discovered, we must rely on intentionally sequenced noises that somehow symbolize all the meaning in the world. My elastically impassioned soul inflates as I apprehend my part, albeit small, in the formation of those acoustic sequences that maintain so much influence. Thus, it is with great joy that I hereby publish a few of my own neologistic shenanigans, and by extent encourage their adoption as means of lexical expression.

Difalerus Boundaries – (n.) (pl.) the invisible borders that form between attentive individuals on a train or subway platform from whence the populations naturally diverge to the closest or most socially convenient car door as the train arrives. You violated the difalerus boundary, so you are not entitled to a good seat on this particular carriage.

Sablegraph – (n.) one of an intricate millimeter high lines that stretch across a beach of fine sand, formed at the peak of momentum of each wave as it pulsates landwards. The sablegraphs in Northern Ireland were well-defined this morning.

Assiedictate – (v.) to restlessly shuffle in discomfort when engaging in conversation while sitting down with someone who is standing up. I am assiedictating at the moment, would you mind if I stood up? | (n.) assiedictation

Axedo Syndrome – (n.) abnormally high awareness of concrete quality; infliction rate strongly correlated with persons in possession of sidewalk reliant methods of transportation such as skateboards, longboards, bikes, etc. My axedo syndrome is particularly piqued due to my early morning longboard commute.

Hibernoplous – (adj.) comprised of, pertaining to and associated with the traditional decor of Irish pubs. This English bar looks ironically hibernoplous. | (n.) hibernoply

Argentumption – (n.) the experience of surprise when confronted with a much larger monetary cost than anticipated of a good, service or product. The medical bill caught me by argentumption.

Transgenii – (n.) relational link between parent and offspring, similar to the objective use of “sibling.” My father and I are transgenii.